Get all 40 Marisa Gasper releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Hints, Live for Love, Studio Study, Puddle of Struggles, Meandering: Menagerie Minus Mastery, Random Strange & Omegas, From Tapes, Com-position, and 32 more.
1. |
From a Book (31)
02:37
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From a Book (Gasper - 2/28/19)
There was a book she gave to you
Full of fleeting strings
Through the years she’d wrapped around
All she’d lost and gleaned
*It was a book of memories,
of hopes, and scattered dreams
This book, it took all that she had
To give to you these things.
This book you thought you’d never had
You’d stored, or lost (along the way)
She asked a friend you both had kept
If you could give it back someday
*
This friend he reconnected you,
And your voices met upon a line
You had abandoned years before
And were then surprised to find...
This book that you had lost of hers
Was speaking on the phone, and
Between you two, rewrote the book
Misplaced so long ago...
*
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2. |
Web Blog (32)
02:56
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Web blog (Gasper - 2/28/19 & 3/18/19)
I lost my grip on your cupreous hair,
The gleaming red I found entwined
I used my words for a steady teal stare
And to fill the sudden emptiness inside
*everything I wrote you read
Made real in the soggy journal I kept...
Your Capricorn has cradled my Piscean pith
Surrounded by mysterious cerulean sea
And the web that I spun was a virtual sojourn
So clearly for you, and entourage, to see...
*everything I said you met
With actions but for me to interpret
The internet is an ocean where many are lost
But some find their way through, while others are tossed
*everything I did upset
The world we created was abandoned and left...
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3. |
From a Dream (33)
03:40
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From a dream (Gasper - 2/28/19)
I had a dream I found you
Didn’t quite know how to feel
Around the sick, the young but dying,
Without this chance to heal...
I was one of the injured
By life, and a chemical craze
So I’d come here by chance
To move from my stance
Self-destructive for sure to my grave
It was here I found out you could like me
And here given more kinds of hope
But the irony struck me among fiends and drunkards
That I was haunted by more than the dope
So you accused me of false decoration
And I left quickly then not amused
For it was not only offensive obscene and defensive
But you were obviously confused
From a dream I am often awoken
To find that life is much the same
But to leave with most words unspoken
Is the sad tale I tell of what came...
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4. |
Social Mania (34-36)
03:46
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Social mania (Gasper - 3/1/19)
*Social media, what are they feeding ya’?
Social mania, is it sustaining ya’?
Bio-psycho-Social...
Biological needs, to feed, to clothe, for shelter. To reproduce, to rear. What is social status for but to assuage the caveman’s fear? Comfort in knowing your place, in the face of danger...*
Psycho. Megalomaniacal visions of that fame you always wanted. That fame... that vengeful fame... revenge has got you unhinged, with your foot in the door of fame - to pay back the sniveling snide snooper troopers that talked all that shit about you, in high school...*
Social ties, networking, 6 degrees of separation. Overview of the social web, the shrinking of the global village, sitting like prey for advertising giants. Social control, mk ultra, social media conglomerate experiments. We are Rats cast out of rat world. Made alien by our electronic connections.
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5. |
Take a Break (37-38)
03:30
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Take a “break” (Gasper - 3/19/19)
You know, you can eat geraniums. They taste kind of like carrots.
My unhappiness coincided with the beginning of my illness.
I really needed to “take a break,” but didn’t know what kind.
Some people after the fact said my illness was kind of like a big fuck you to everyone. It wasn’t conscious.
I danced a lot in this one. It started out the same, with messages from songs. But this time, I danced along.
The most obvious part of this one was my verbal diarrhea, hosted by social media. I let out a tirade against all my “friends” from high school.
My best friends got the worst of it.
Maybe I needed to “take a break” from friendship.
I also spent a lot of time at my Dual Diagnosis day program. My counselor there said I was eating the weeds outside the building. They were geraniums.
I spent most of my time outside there then. I needed to “take a break” from groups.
I remember one time I envisioned Kurt Cobain as a a robot being brought up from miles beneath the ground - in the elevator that went to my friend’s pharmacy. That was interesting.
And other times I envisioned my best friends trying to fuck and kill the “love of my life.”
He was the central subject of this illness, like in the 3 previous ones. In others, I thought he was locked in his mom’s garage, or running down the hallways of a hospital I was in, making the food we ate, or that my friends and family were keeping him from me.
Maybe I needed to “take a break” from reality…
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6. |
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When you aren’t looking (Gasper - 3/20/19)
In the pool you are a fish
Swimming blind but true
But it never happens
At least just not to you
*you want to meet your soulmate
In this case, the fisher hooking,
But you’ll only find love
When you aren’t looking
I met him on a chance
Once a barely noticed lad
He came off cocky, somewhat forward
Sweet yet somewhat sad
*id have never thought
I’d bite his offered cookie
But I only found love
When I wasn’t looking
When you’re not looking
You are fresh and unassuming
When you’re not looking
You’re not seeking or consuming
The secret to true love
Is to be where you are now
And search at will for something else
Without this, it’s never found
*love has a way of hiding
When you’re hungry or you’re cooking
You’ll only find love
When you aren’t looking
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7. |
From the Past (40-41)
01:36
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From the past (Gasper - 3/20/19)
Because he knew that I expected it
He came in the back door
But made a play I wouldn’t guess
And I couldn’t know what for
*hes from the past
A past I loved
And so I let him in
Because I knew what he expected
I played it cool, and kept it light
But came to be, a different door
I would pass through one night
*hes from the past
A past I knew
And so I let him in
So I let him in to say the words
So I let him in to save me
So I let him in to make me sane
So I let him in to say
*hes from the past
A past he trusts
And so I let him in
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8. |
Uncertain Longing
05:54
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Marisa Gasper Los Angeles, California
www.DelusionalAsUsual.Bandcamp.com. Marisa Gasper doesn't know the word fear, because she pursues her creative visions wherever they take her. Her works explore life, often through sound, and transcend traditional dichotomies in service to healing expansively the rifts between heart and mind, sacred and profane, G*d and philosophy... ~ bio by Betsy Kenoff-Boyd ~Thank You! ... more
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